2015 was meant to he the year where everything is possible. A few days ago I felt like I could fly with all the adrenaline coursing through my veins , ready and willing to tackle the new year with zeal. But now , reality just hit me. I’m so scared of the unknown. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow or next month. I have no plan or set goals beacause I don’t know what God has planned. Everyone says “God is about to do a mighty thing in your life” Its not that I don’t believe it. I just don’t understand it. Faith. All I need is Faith but right now I don’t know where it is.
I may seem stupid for not planning my year but I believed God already had a plan.
Sigh * Nine days of the new year and I’m already this weak. Wow.
I’m empty at the moment and what is missing is self motivation, confidence and worth.
God please fill me up , because this is a depressing turn I’m taking.



Our lives are like beautiful roses with thorns . Now these thorns are no good. They’ll be there for a while and you’ll think its okay to have them until they start to prick you and it’s gonna hurt really bad. It’s even gonna hurt more when your Gardener decides to pluck the thorns out of you. That pain will be excruciating, but good for you. Because what you don’t realise during the pain is that it will make you better and you will eventually heal because your Gardener will take good care of you. And you’ll remain a beautiful rose with no thorns. He will make you Brand new. So have hope. Its not the end, it has only just began.

How to Be a Ladyperson at the Holidays: 10 Important Tips

Straight from the ad pages of your favorite magazines, here’s your guide to being a girl in December. Take notes.

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1. Stay cozy. Wear a baby.

wear a baby If you play your cards right, your sensitive, goateed dad/boyfriend/professor will reward you with a pair of socks made out of his extra sweater sleeves.

 * * *

2. Flaunt your complexity.

Embrace all your many dimensions. Think: "I'm an heiress and an Italian professor at this upscale tropical funeral." Show off all your many dimensions at once. When planning outfits for your holiday soirées, think: “I’m an heiress and an Italian professor at this upscale tropical funeral.”

* * *

3. Represent feminine softness in a hard masculine world.

coach All around you are skyscrapers made of bricks and iron and glass and ouchy things. They’re all pointy and hard. But not you. You’re a soft pink flower in a gentle haze of light. Everything around you is blooming, because you breathed springtime into winter. You’re a superfresh candypants sugarblossom.

 * * *

4. If you’re truly hot, you…

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Weight has been a demon I have struggled with for such a long time. I’m always too big. Never satisfied with how I look.
I remember when I was a teen I literally used to tie my stomach with bandages in order to hide it.
Well here comes the worst part. I am 15kgs heavier than my elder sister (6 year gap).  So every one is always like ” why do you eat your sister’s food”  or ask stupid questions like “who is older?”
Aahhh that just drives me insane . My problem is that I procrastinate too much!!.
Sigh* then going to the gym is beyond my budget.
I just need a motivational group . Anyone? No? Lol
I guess not.

Stuck in reverse

I hate it when I know exactly what my problem is and how to solve it but I stupidly decide to go the other way and ignore it. Using excuses like

it’s never that serious

“, or “life is to short to Stress my self out”.
I need a nudge or something to get me out

of my comfort zone .I need to learn how to take risks. Be
a little  more spontaneous maybe? Take charge? Be in control!!! Yes..
Lord have mercy because this wil be hard to achieve.
To all my zero viewers (lmao) I’ll write again soon.. 🙂

That girl

Ava is stuck in her non realistic fantacy. She expects to get a good job , a good man, kids and you know, all the good things life has to offer. Actually what i mean is all the good things we see in movies (i.e get married to a famous dude, live in L.A or Newyork and a boatload of other crap). But what Ava does not want to believe is that life does not go according ‘your’ plan but according to God’s plan…
So to all Ava’s out there, WAKE UP.